|For commissions or just for generosity, every point makes a difference. Thanks for donating|
My lungs scream for air. My mouth wants to scream. My eyes stare into nothingness like crystal balls. They wail and sting as if they had been in a staring contest with the sun. The tears bubbled in their sockets, forced back by the cruel tyrant of self-restraint. Everyone will see me cry, my mind told itself as I shuddered and slouched in my seat. I heard the droning of the beast somewhere very distant even though she was a mere few feet away with it’s usually booming voice. She hates me, it hates me. My nails dug deep into my skin to distract myself from the mental pain. It’s all in your head everyone had told me. You’ll get better They said. I wasn’t going to get better as long as I was here. This place is a prison. I wanted to run, I needed to run.
Abruptly, the class started laughing hysterically.
My head snapped out of its nightmaric trance. I didn’t know what had been so funny, but I was aware of the tear that had fallen down my cheek. That’s one more mistake that’s fallen from my eyes. If only I could control my tears, like everyone else. If only…
I caught the gaze of the creature and my heart sunk like an anchor. She looked straight into my eyes. I held my breath. I was doomed.
I stared with cold fear for what felt like millennia before she looked away, saying nothing.
Was she really heartless enough to look at the face of one of her red-faced students and to see the scars of their mental war against tears and say nothing? I longed for a tissue. I longed for the bell. I longed for this hell to finally be over. All I wanted was to step out of my penitentiary and into the fresh air to the sites of children sitting laughing and talking happily and I’d be free of this melancholy. Each and every moment dragged on forever, each more painful than the last. My vision was clouded with moisture every second I was here. I turned my head to the people sitting either side who seemed brain dead and oblivious, emotionless.
The individuals who called me a crybaby for forgetting homework had no idea how much every little mistake built up on me. If only they knew.